This Sharpie

I’m in my cubicle and decide to take a little break from providing value to draw a picture of Boba Fett on my desk with a Sharpie. I’m not good at drawing hands or legs or feet or Boba Fett so I have him hiding in a dumpster, which I can sort of draw. As I ponder my art with avuncular fondness, I idly dangle the Sharpie by my nose and take a long, desperate huff. The dumpster peels itself from the cheap particleboard and says Jump inside me! Let’s do adventures! So I hop in and sure enough Boba Fett’s in there too, just cold lampin. We bust through the fluorescent lights and rocket into the sky and the dumpster goes Eeeeeeee this is fun as shit! and Boba Fett says basically nothing. We do a barrel roll and then land on a guy riding a moped, killing him instantly. The dumpster says she thinks this guy did bad things in the community, so it’s OK, we’ll probably get medals. Then we soar on over to Office Depot where I buy five packs of Sharpies for the weekend and the dumpster swaps stories with the other dumpsters out back. One time I had a baby in me! one of them says. It was like I was pregnant! Then I wake up in a holding cell, a luxurious Lincoln beard Sharpie’d on my face. Evidently I was arrested for Using one’s genitalia to click to the next PowerPoint slide which I have no memory of but it does sort of sound like me.

» Rating: EIGHT SEXY LADIES