It’s a dance, mama, and you need to know the moves. Here’s how it works:

You catch his eye from across the bar, coyly playing with the bendy straw in your titillatingly named cocktail, perhaps a Double Stuf Penetration (gin and Oreos and gin) or a Delicious Butt (gin sprayed with Ed Hardy perfume). You let him see your lips at work. Then you glance away, scanning the crowd, just to toy with him, just to let him know there’s competition out there in the hot darkness. But then your eyes fall upon him again, this time lingering on his piercing jowls and devastating ears. You take a sip of your drink to hide your flustered smile, but let him catch a glimpse. You run your finger along the rim of the glass, slowly, so slowly. It goes skreeeeeeee! You raise an eyebrow almost imperceptibly. You do the trick where it looks like you’re removing your thumb. You tuck your upper lip above your teeth and go durrr. You jab your tongue in your cheek to make it look like you’re giving an invisible blowjob. You belch like crazy. I mean come on. It doesn’t matter. Just go over there and say “I thought you should know I have boobies and they’re located right here” and then point out the location of your boobies. 100% success rate.

» Rating: ONE SEXY LADIES (that’s you!)