Thomas Jefferson

T-Jeff looks a little like Robert Redford and a lot like a big slab of hot hunk, you ask me. I mean you know he was a full-on player. He had all kinds of fillies on the side. There were at least a couple dozen slave kids running around Monticello with his face. But when you’re sporting a kisser like that, it’s kind of your duty to spread it around as much as possible. That’s what my mommy tells me, anyway. I’m “startlingly handsome,” she says—direct quote!—and I “should not keep that shit to myself.”

Moving on, check out Jefferson get his jeffers on, whatever that means, with Sally Hemings:

TJ: Soooo. Sally. Long Tall Sally. Girl, you are looking tight to-night. Oopsie, I dropped something. Oh it’s the Declaration of Independence! Did you know I wrote that? No big whoop. Just sayin.

SH: Uh, you cowrote it.

TJ: Oh please. You think John Adams knows what “inalienable” means? Now come on, let’s unwind with some of my hemp, fresh off the farm.

SH: OK maybe just a little. It makes you suddenly really funny.

TJ: It makes a lot of things really funny. Except for, you know, “Mister President” here in my breeches. That’s deadly serious.

» Rating: NINE SEXY LADIES